A Bruised Wife and a Smoldering Husband

“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out” (Matthew 12:20).

Remember when you both stood at the altar of God, before His minister and the company of witnesses? You were strong in your youth and radiant in your love. You were so confident that this union made in heaven could only get stronger and this new love would become an eternal flame.

You, as the groom, once stood at the altar as a proud, slender and tall stalk of river reed. You were upright and sturdy, nourished by the waters of youth and rooted in the rich riverbed of confidence. Once, as that reed you were tall and erect – now you are bowed and bent. Now you are stooped and hidden in life’s bulrushes. You now feel you are ready to break–not at all certain that the marriage will last.

You, as the bride, stood radiant by his side as a new and fragrant candle robed in white. The light of love was in your eyes. You gave of your fresh fire to light the unity candle–so certain that you were lighting an eternal flame.

Now the fire is almost out. Love once aflame now is flickering and failing. The wick is still warm with yesterday’s passion, but now no fire burns. You are not yet cold but your love is far from hot. All that is left of the relationship is a thin wisp of smoke, rising then dissipating in the air–love almost gone.

You remember how your candle illuminated the unknown path in your marriage. Now the road may still be there but your candle is too dim to see it. The winds of disappointment have blown out your dreams. You are wounded in spirit.

It did not happen suddenly. Love does not die easily, it “suffereth long.” The pressure of making a living crushed out the pleasure of making a life.

The children came, the debts mounted, you took two jobs to make ends meet. You became like two ships passing in the night. You are still faithful to church, you are active but the joy is not there. Your walk with God is no longer a relationship; now it has become a responsibility.

Tired and unfulfilled, sharp and harsh words were spoken and issues not faced. Words of love were not said. You failed to take the time to nourish the reed and replenish and rebuild the candle. You took your marriage for granted and you were taken for granted. It is now over – or is it?

Saint of God, it does not have to happen! As long as the reed is still attached and as long as the wick still has a little spark, God can restore what the “caterpillar” of life has eaten. All God needs is to see your desire.

We serve a God who is a healer of broken hearts, a restorer of broken marriages. He promised that He would never break your bent reed. He will never snuff out your smoking wick – and He will not allow the “destroyer” to do it either. God can restore your family whole to you.

David claimed his promise from God: “For thou wilt light my candle: the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness”(Psalms 18:28).

Bruised and smoldering one, start doing again the things that caused you to fall in love in the first place. Reach out to your partner, even when you do not see them returning it or responding. Start rebuilding bridges with your spouse and your children again. Begin by using words of love rather than words of hate. Give your family your time rather than things. It its much cheaper to remodel than to rebuild. Remember, God hates divorce, watch and guard your spirit (Malachi 2:14-16).

God majors in the miracle of restoration.