Building & Rebuilding Trust

As a young father of very young daughters, I would place them, one at a time, on our kitchen counter. When I was ready, I would tell them to jump, which they did and I would catch them. They would laugh and I would smile. It was a good time.

As time progressed, I had to be careful putting them on the counter. Once I did, I had to be ready. Many times they would jump before I could tell them to. Their confidence in dad was such that they would jump believing that dad would catch them every time. This did cause a couple interesting moments.

I noticed as my daughters grew, they began to hesitate before they jumped. As they continued growing, their confidence in dad being able to catch them diminished. Finally, it got to the point where they refused to jump. They no longer trusted that I could catch them. For this I was thankful. I cringe to think what would happen today if we were to reenact the past.

The Psalmist, David wrote more than anybody about trusting in the Lord. In the middle verse of the Bible, Psalm 118:8, he wrote, “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.” I would wholeheartedly agree with David. However, the greater our trust in the Lord is, the easier it is to trust man.

David’s son, Solomon, wrote a verse I have been hammering on recently. Too bad he didn’t take his own advice. He wrote in Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Following the direction of these words brings a sense of security. There is great safety in trusting the Lord.

Not all people fear rejection but at some level most do. The greater ones trust is in God, the greater ones security is in God, the fear of rejection will reduce accordingly.

The only way to build trust in God is to give Him opportunities to break our trust. Which when we do, He doesn’t. As we learn to obey Him and recognize the Lord keeping His promises, our trust deepens.

The same is true for other relationships. I have heard this many times, “I don’t trust him anymore,” or “How can I trust her after what she did to me?” The answer is the same: the only way to rebuilt trust is to give the individual new opportunities to break our trust.

It takes work to rebuild trust. It takes desire to rebuild trust. If somebody we just met on a casual basis breaks our trust, chances are we are not going to care about rebuilding. However, if a spouse or child or close relative or friend breaks our trust, we have a decision to make.

We can harden our heart and refuse to forgive; in which case, rebuilding trust is not even an option. Or we can maintain a tender albeit bruised heart, forgive and start the process of building trust again.

If memory serves, I believe it was Jesus that talked about forgiveness and the ongoing aspect of it. As humans we see society throwing people overboard left and right. If we are not careful we can find ourselves emulating society. However, Jesus portrayed a difference spirit and His is our example.

Trust is a difficult thing to have broken. We should do our best to maintain the trust others have in us. But when trust is broken it can be rebuilt.

When it comes to trusting God, try being like my girls were when they were very young and didn’t understand anything but trust in dad. Climb up on the shelf and jump into His arms again and again, enjoying the process.

The greater your trust is in God the easier it will be to trust and rebuild trust in others. Not easy but easier. So, get closer to Jesus. Know Him. Love Him. Obey Him. Trust Him.