Idealistic Distortion is a term Prepare/Enrich uses for pre-marital or marriage counseling. Idealistic Distortion measures the extent to which a person distorts the relationship in a positive direction.
A scale of 1-100 is used to measure Idealistic Distortion. A score below 40 indicates a more realistic approach to describing the relationship. However, a score above 65 indicates that a person represents their relationship in an overly positive manner and is seeing it through “rose-colored” glasses.
In other words, the lower a score is; the more realistic the view of their relationship. Conversely, the higher the score; the more unrealistic the perspective. This can be destructive.
It is not uncommon for one member of a relationship to be more negative than the other, which means one is more positive than the other. We can readily see the pitfalls of being overly negative. However, not many would consider being too positive detrimental. But it can be.
I live in the Pacific Northwest. It could be argued we get more than our share of rain. For someone to say the sun is shining all day, every day, they would have to have wings and spend their time above the clouds, ignoring everything going on below.
Taking this analogy to relationships, some might say this is a beautiful way to live. However, it is unrealistic and damaging to a relationship. If an actual problem does not receive proper and respectful consideration, and if one is not listening to the voice of the other, the result is unhealthy.
Ignoring a problem does not make it go away. If the problem does not receive the attention it needs, it may seem to dissipate. Still, in reality, the problem grows exponentially. It is much wiser to address a problem in its infancy rather than waiting until it is full-blown.
Healthy communication is the key to resolving conflict sooner rather than later. Don’t wait and don’t ignore the problem. Be realistic and deal with each one as it comes.
For a marriage check-up and to find out your Idealistic Distortion score, contact us: dsirstad@dsministries.com.
You might also like these articles...
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!
One explanation for the origin of the “Liar, liar pants on fire” rhyme involves the curiosity of a young country boy who stole a cigar from his daddy’s smokebox and hid in the tool shed to secretly mimic his father. After the boy lit the cigar, his dad smelled the potent smoke and followed its trail…
Indirect Behavior
It is highly likely if you don’t have indirect behavior, somebody in your world does. I see it show up many times in various forms of relationship. One person assumes the other knows what they want because they are thinking it. The other person has no clue what is wanted since what is wanted has…
The Power of Giving Thanks
Giving thanks. Being thankful. Seems like the same thing but there is a difference. One is proactive, the other reactive. Is either one wrong? Absolutely not! Both are right. Both are needed. Consider an obvious Scriptural example. Dr. Luke tells a true story of ten men, which he records in Luke 17:12-18. If we cheat…