Idealistic Distortion

Idealistic Distortion is a term Prepare/Enrich uses for pre-marital or marriage counseling. Idealistic Distortion measures the extent to which a person distorts the relationship in a positive direction.

A scale of 1-100 is used to measure Idealistic Distortion. A score below 40 indicates a more realistic approach to describing the relationship. However, a score above 65 indicates that a person represents their relationship in an overly positive manner and is seeing it through “rose-colored” glasses.

In other words, the lower a score is; the more realistic the view of their relationship. Conversely, the higher the score; the more unrealistic the perspective.  This can be destructive.

It is not uncommon for one member of a relationship to be more negative than the other, which means one is more positive than the other. We can readily see the pitfalls of being overly negative. However, not many would consider being too positive detrimental. But it can be.

I live in the Pacific Northwest. It could be argued we get more than our share of rain. For someone to say the sun is shining all day, every day, they would have to have wings and spend their time above the clouds, ignoring everything going on below.

Taking this analogy to relationships, some might say this is a beautiful way to live. However, it is unrealistic and damaging to a relationship. If an actual problem does not receive proper and respectful consideration, and if one is not listening to the voice of the other, the result is unhealthy.

Ignoring a problem does not make it go away. If the problem does not receive the attention it needs, it may seem to dissipate. Still, in reality, the problem grows exponentially. It is much wiser to address a problem in its infancy rather than waiting until it is full-blown.

Healthy communication is the key to resolving conflict sooner rather than later. Don’t wait and don’t ignore the problem. Be realistic and deal with each one as it comes.

For a marriage check-up and to find out your Idealistic Distortion score, contact us: dsirstad@dsministries.com.

Leave a Comment





Archives

You might also like these articles...

I Just Assumed …

How many times have you said or thought these words, “I just assumed …?” How many times have you heard these words, “I just assumed …?” Every time we assume, we open the possibility of conflict, stress, anxiety, etc. Not only are we impacted by these negative emotions, but the subject or subjects of our…

Read More about I Just Assumed …

What Causes Trauma?

I’m sure there are multiple answers to what causes trauma. I will give you one for your consideration.  Most people will experience trauma in their life.  Trauma is preceded by tragedy. Whether it is a catastrophe, calamity, misfortune, disaster, or heartbreak, it is tragic. If we live long enough, tragedy will happen, and pain and…

Read More about What Causes Trauma?

Ditch The Timeline!

Ditch the timeline! We often hear timelines attached to healing from different physical injuries such as broken bones, wounds, surgeries, and more. When an individual suffers from emotional trauma and grief, it’s no surprise that people often want to attach a timeline to that healing process as well. If only I could tell you how frequently I heard the phrase, “Healing from betrayal trauma takes 3-5 years.” However, it’s hard to place a timeline on our emotional healing. Healing is unique to…

Read More about Ditch The Timeline!