Idealistic Distortion

Idealistic Distortion is a term Prepare/Enrich uses for pre-marital or marriage counseling. Idealistic Distortion measures the extent to which a person distorts the relationship in a positive direction.

A scale of 1-100 is used to measure Idealistic Distortion. A score below 40 indicates a more realistic approach to describing the relationship. However, a score above 65 indicates that a person represents their relationship in an overly positive manner and is seeing it through “rose-colored” glasses.

In other words, the lower a score is; the more realistic the view of their relationship. Conversely, the higher the score; the more unrealistic the perspective.  This can be destructive.

It is not uncommon for one member of a relationship to be more negative than the other, which means one is more positive than the other. We can readily see the pitfalls of being overly negative. However, not many would consider being too positive detrimental. But it can be.

I live in the Pacific Northwest. It could be argued we get more than our share of rain. For someone to say the sun is shining all day, every day, they would have to have wings and spend their time above the clouds, ignoring everything going on below.

Taking this analogy to relationships, some might say this is a beautiful way to live. However, it is unrealistic and damaging to a relationship. If an actual problem does not receive proper and respectful consideration, and if one is not listening to the voice of the other, the result is unhealthy.

Ignoring a problem does not make it go away. If the problem does not receive the attention it needs, it may seem to dissipate. Still, in reality, the problem grows exponentially. It is much wiser to address a problem in its infancy rather than waiting until it is full-blown.

Healthy communication is the key to resolving conflict sooner rather than later. Don’t wait and don’t ignore the problem. Be realistic and deal with each one as it comes.

For a marriage check-up and to find out your Idealistic Distortion score, contact us: dsirstad@dsministries.com.

Leave a Comment





Archives

You might also like these articles...

Responding to False Accusations

Responding to False Accusations Have you ever been accused incorrectly? Of course, you have. It started early on in life when your parents accused you of making a mess. In reality, it was your sibling, a neighborhood friend, or the family pet. But you were accused, and you had to clean it up. Do you…

From a Wound to a Scar

The healing process of going from a wound to a scar is primarily up to the one who has been wounded. Who, among the masses of those that read this, has never been injured? Remember wiping out on your bicycle? For you guys, do you remember stumbling home with torn jeans, blood on your leg,…

Needy People!

Who is needy? People don’t like being needy or being considered needy. Many shy away from those they think are needy. As we reflect on this idea of needy people, it is essential to determine who is needy. So, here are my thoughts on the matter. I am needy! You are needy! All of humanity…